Overheard outside my window at 1am.
“So I don’t know about the Red Sea shit but like, the whole locusts thing has got to be for real.”
“Holy shit, you’re so right, so right… like, they’ve proven the locusts totally happened–”
“Yeah, like I saw on TV–”
“Dude, those 10 plagues are totally fucking real. Those Egyptians, man, they were some crazy fuckers.”
“Dude, they like fucking built these totally gigantic structures, like with their fucking hands–”
“Hell yeah.”
“Like, 50 story high buildings that we totally need fucking cranes and shit to build, and they built it out of stone with their own hands.”
“Dude, they must’ve had aliens helping them out.”
“Yeah, for real.”
“Like, how the hell could the Egyptians build these huge fucking structures with their ancient knowledge? I’m sorry, but that shit is too complex for like Stone Age people to come up by themselves.”
“You think aliens helped them?”
“Totally. How could God–”
“Dude, the universe is so vast, there’s no telling what the fuck kind of shit is out there. Who knows what kind of people–”"
“Why would God only make us, when there’s hundreds and millions of stars out in the universe, and who knows what kind of shit is out there…”
“Exactly, dude, like, I’m positive aliens have come–”
“Hey, there’s your boy.”
“Hey, what’s up, bro?”
“Talk a little fucking louder, why don’t ya? I heard every fucking thing you guys said out there.”
“Oh yeah? I’m fucking sorry, dude, I really am.”
“Oh yeah? Well why don’t you shove… Just kiddin’ with ya, man. Check out my new tattoo.”
“Dude, that’s awesome!”
“Wow, that’s very, like, tribal and shit.”
“Yeah, some chick I met at a club hooked me up with this guy who gave me a discount. I’m gonna go in and fucking get another one done next week.”
“Oh yeah? What of?”
“I’m like, Irish, you know, and my grandfather has this picture of this shield, like, that the Bryant family has had since like the fucking Middle Ages.”
“Cool.”
“So I want a shield with the name ‘Bryant’ on it.”
“Sweet. That’s fucking cool, dude.”
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