Reflection
I wrote this a while ago, in a fit of anguish, when I thought of all the things that were wrong and all the things I hadn’t ever quite gotten around to telling her. I never did tell her this part, sadly, but nonetheless, it is the one thing I can walk away knowing for sure:
it’s shocking how the life i envy and in my heart of hearts desire is pedestrian, normal and otherwise unremarkable — i long not to make my mark in a blaze of unique glory, but rather to disappear in wave of unremarkable, commonplace, basic happiness, to fade into transparency.
-Sept 20, 2009