With confidence this time I tell her, and her assent—a nod, a smile, her hands squeezing mine—warms me, even on this cold, windy, late night.
Such are my pleasures these days: Miso udon soup, Green Day’s Dookie played over noise-cancelling headphones, an unannounced, open-ended project, new people to impress, finally deciding to do what I’ve been waiting all year to try.
For reasons that aren’t so clear to me now, I made a point of not calling it a date. It was definitely not a date.
Everybody tells me I should read this, watch that, do this, distract myself, engage others, take things in, fill up the space, but the truth is, I want to do the opposite—I want to pour, pour out words and thoughts and feelings, empty myself of this thick, sticky, viscous fluid sloshing inside me, memories that [...]
I wrote this a while ago, in a fit of anguish, when I thought of all the things that were wrong and all the things I hadn’t ever quite gotten around to telling her. I never did tell her this part, sadly, but nonetheless, it is the one thing I can walk away knowing for [...]
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